Thursday, December 3, 2009

Civi War: Cape Town

Has anyone noticed the amount of shitness that’s happening around Cape Town lately? I’m speaking purely on the point of people being who they are; different, irritating, cool, snobbish, ugly, fuckable, small…ect ect. But Recently people have obviously gotten sick of people being human and decided to post their comments in a public domain. Sure that’s what I do, but I like to think there is a purpose for me posting up my rants, at least for humour sake.

I mean the amount of kak that is written about how the Kool kids are damaged kids, or the young kids are so lame. yadda, yadda, yadda, now I have been known to say stuff in the similar vein but I actually have had the capacity to think further by not frequenting the places or hanging around those people.

Why oh why is this happening in such a cosmopolitan city?. I mean this is Cape Town people!! the place where the freaks hang out with the norms and nothing is said. I had a colleague who went to that Synergy thing this past weekend and got sneered at because his wife is white and he is black. Fuck is this the 80’s? I’m getting really disappointed with this place and I don’t want to be. So any of you fucks who can’t stand anybody who is different or inexperienced or lame or “cool” do something pro-active about it (and I don’t mean Columbine pro-active)

I know its tough and hard (believe me, I have been the object of many spat on's) but deal with your issue's coz 99% of the time thast what they are doing as well. Once you have started, it will be better for yourself and better for this beautiful City.

Great…. now my next post will be able flower arrangement ..thanks a lot…

Stroke the Tiger

So there’s this guy right? Dj producer type guy, calls himself Fear Of Tigers, got into him awhile back when I fell in love with his “Love like Semtex – Infadels”remix. Then one after the other he popped awesomeness out, like a golden egg laying goose on LSD.

FOF can take a song and make it into a journey of synthial synapses wrapped in clouds of fluffy beats. Just recently (like two days ago) he released his first album..FOR FREE!! Yes, FOR FREE and I can tell you, It is everything and all, so I urge all 9 of you following me to drop whatever you are doing (coz lets face it we’re at work, at this time, and this is a great reason to stop with the boredom) and go here and download , trust me it is a fun album that will guarantee to lighten any day.. except if you’re one of those depressive types then pop an anti- and get ready for a great ride.


Monday, November 16, 2009

like a monkey with a miniature symbol...

If there were a movie in production about my life it would be this one displayed up top, but without the dying horse, flying dragon and the rock people would be more earthy and less boer. What’s sad about hearing other people’s problems that seem to never change is suddenly realising that this is my problem. I seem to be stuck in other people’s life’s yet have not one of my own. How to explain…oh ..Its like going to watch a movie then buying the DVD then watching it over and over until you know every line, every queue and soundtrack but instead of putting another movie into the player your stuck with the first one….on repeat.

Hell, I’m not complaining about the peeps in my life, or if it or not sucks or threaten to write a country and western song. It’s just, one needs to get to a point, where you don’t want to put another movie on and feel happy with whats playing at the moment. Now all I need to do is find the right one…any one know of any good DVD stores?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Mom….Dad……I Suck MP’3 for kicks..

If there is one thing that tops those endless nights, curled up in bed eagerly drooling over….comics, the word is comics, I knew what you were thinking, but porn is digital and you don’t have to use hands to watch a screen…Um aaaaaannnnnyyyyyyway… The one thing that trumps comics is: Music.

I think I may even have a problem here, yes folks a problem. You see if a friend would be telling me how their life is shit and they cant’s handle the pressure’s of (insert problem here), my one shoulder would hold their head while the other tilts ever so slightly, to see the name of the song playing on their iTunes. I know I know its terrible and don’t let me get started, on the amount of mb’s ,that are chewed when listening or “sampling” the sweet melodies, but oh God…. the BPM’s and the bass oh the joys.

I was actually going to come up with a resolution to solve this problem but I seem to have gotten lost in what may be the anthem of my entire HOUR!!!!BYE!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Anyone got a duster?

*cough *cough *cough

sniff sniff sniff

shoh what has happened to this place, I think this dust is actually
trying to communicate with me??

Dust: Mmmmaaastaaahhhh???

Matt: um hello?

Duts: whhhyy have you forthssakinnn meeee maaaasssttaaahhhh???

Matt: Well its not that I have forsaken you really, more like I have
a job now and you know when I get home all I want to do is chill, you know??

Dust: No mmmmaaaaaassstttaaaaahh I livvve to seeerrvvveeeee you mmmaaastaaaaahhh

Matt: Um you don't have to call me that you know, I'm wigged out that I'm
actually writing down this conversation as it is.

Dust: F*&^$£ this shit I'm off to MissNtertainment.

yeah so this was a shameless plug at my sisters site but hey at least I didn't rant about the new Verimark Christmas Spots on Tv

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Wind beneath my mountain.

Before I go into a spew about the gastronomical farts that are either coming from Table Mountain or Robin Island. I GOT A JOB! Don’t all seven of you following my blog drop dead now, to think it took 7 months to get to this point…hold on 7 followers…7 months…7 days of the week…7 Eleven…its all connected!!! Spooky. Any way, I start tomorrow, can’t wait to wake up early and work and then complain about waking up early and moan about working, the joys of employment!

So I cant tell you anything that happened with me over the weekend, as I was far away in the land of mucus and membrane, yup I was sick and missed out on all the Loerie action but anyone can go onto the Book and check out the photo’s of what occurred. Although it seemed Cape Town itself wanted the rest of the country out of its borders judging by the crap but lovely bed weather.
I can tell you I had another run in with the opposite of the law, when I was harassed by street kids at the top of Long, not cool. In all the pushing and swearing my nose somehow attracted the car door, I still have a bruise, try blowing your nose for four days with that. Ouch. Sigh, life’s little obstacles are starting to reach beyond the PG label…okay it reached that a looong time ago but who wants to hear that.

Off to bed for me now and I will try not to have three little pig dreams for fear of my windows huff huff huffing in on me. laters

Friday, September 4, 2009

to be or not to be...honest that is

Don't you hate it when you figure at a certain point, that being honest with the people around you has gone far enough, to be totally forthcoming. Then to have it backfire like a Charlies Bakery cupcake?

What does one do when faced with the situation???

SHUT THE FUCK UP! no one wants to know the truth and even when they do, all this other shit comes out and you land up being the cunt that sits at the kiddies table. There we go folks, its that simple and no money back guarantee on that coz it works. So spread the word or don't, you choose, choose a life a false cookies with a sprinkle of denial served with a cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Going to get wasted now, enjoy you weekend

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Make Mine A Small World After All

So, if you're a comic fanatic like me and is a follower to that chunk of literal and visual entertainment that is Marvel Entertainment Inc. You would have already heard the 4 Billion aquisition of Marvel by Disney. O f course the pimple porn induced nerds of the world coughed on their "diet"sodas upon hearing this anouncement, your's truly included.the question now is:

So what does this mean?

There are alot of articles adressing this situation, but all leading to the fact that Marvel will still retain it's individual integrity. I wont lie to you but I am one of those people who are as about uneasy as a spectator at a Kurt Darren Mall Concert. I would love to accept this and go whoopty doo but we all know business is more than just letterheads and grey farty men. Its not the fact that I'm slitting my wrists at a Bambi and Wolverine team up, what worries me, is the eventual 5 year plan to "restructure" Marvel to fall under the Disney iron skirt.Where restrictions are placed on content of writing and art, like "example:" no gay members of the X-Men or lazer guns for The Punisher.

So sue me if I'm being paranoid but some of us have grown up with Marvel and we've been through changes but has anyone ever heard of the cartoon show Doug? need i say more? The last time I heard everything was not going to change and its all good...I got retrenched. I hope I'm being a analy paranoidle idiot...prove me wrong Disney, let this be a Kingdom Hearts and not a Doug. Read more at Marvel or there are interesting articles at Newserama

Later Hoes n Broes

Monday, August 31, 2009

Happy News for once

So there I was busy doing a project for this College in Milan when lo' and behold I made it though to the first round, Yay!!! If I win I get one of 30 Scholarships they are handing out. So that’s.....

A: an international education
B: Location, Location, Location
C: Potential Hotties!!!!!!!!

So pay a visit to the sight and vote for me even leave a comment if you want. It’s a really good idea, so I’m not asking pity votes (although I would never refuse a free drink).
Look for: Matthew Neophytou. duh.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Hey there

You know I really wish I had more to say on a regular bases, I mean these long waits must be killing you guys, he wrote whilst yearning for the inkling of reciprocation. Well one thing I did get together this week was my scholarship project for the EID Institute in Milano. I sent it off two days ago. Whoop whoop!

Now I have no idea what I will do if I win as one still has to come up with enrolment fees, which is like attempted genocide on the bank account, but winning is actually all one needs and not the prize. If that makes any sense.

Friday, July 24, 2009

A Rant

Go away Glomail Adverts! with your matchbox budgets capable of only hiring face-for-radio “actors” with a penchant for hanging around fires wearing synthetic retarded blankets with holes in or 40+ year old sleepovers on glorified lilos, ooh botox too much?? How about squeezing snail foot all over your face and see in 2 weeks if that works, while watching your brat play on his laptop which basically is a heap of un-eco friendly plastic, housing a 1-inch LCD screen but oh you can add sums in Afrikaans? well fry my ass and call me Einstein!! I didn’t know they had a boere version of the number 1, back to school for me.Of course I can get plenty exercise for PT running on a state-of-the-art mat, watching state-of-the-art 2-bit pixels, if your “workout" cause's you to pee, you could wipe it up with microfibre plastic so small they had to computer generate it .ooh graphics. Money back guarantee! How’s about I pay you to never make any of that shit ever again that would be the greatest back guarantee ever!!! Go away Glomail no one likes you!!!!!

this is a rant.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Hey hey hey!!!!

Been ages hey? But anyhew I’ve actually been quite a busy beaver, and not just the social circuit. Have a lot of mini stuff in the pipelines so watch this space and not my ass. Okay maybe my ass, its cute right? Don’t deny it…..

Went for a casting yesterday for an overseas brand, had to act, it was fun!!! I miss acting. I chose advertising as I thought it was more stable “low and behold” later, cue in frying pan (labelled- reality check) to face. So that’s one thing to hold thumbs for. I’m also working on a semi- secret project for a college over seas, that if I win I get in!!! Some people know others don’t. Now I don’t want to tell all just yet, as I am a firm believer in the power of Jinx, so bear with me until further notice, wow I’m like Bold and the Beautiful with that hook, except I don’t sleep around with family members, although I am Greek so how could I know.

So on Sunday I was the victim of a crime (no, no SABC3 sponsored musician was no where near my ears). It was Just off Long Street (shock) where some Bergie took my phone right out of my hands and poofed it away into his bag. Cue a slightly tipsy Matti running after him begging for at least the SIM card back, oh he gave me something right, like three punches’ later. Not hectic ones but it was assault, thank God for a group of ladies and a cab driver later and a friend I got my phone back!! But what really got me was how the people around me really helped me. It was reminiscent of the scene in Kindergarden Cop where the kids yell “Stranger Stranger”, and how the most effective weapon is not a knife or gun but a voice and you can never run out of bullets with that…….unless you really scream loud.

Okay I’m out Enjoy the weekend people

Monday, June 8, 2009

I’m A Pervert and I’m Proud Of It!!

Are you one of those people who don’t just watch films..they rape them!!!!! And I don’t mean that in the offensive way I mean it in the way a dog would devour a bone way…okay just in case you were wondering I’m not talking about porn, I’m talking about normal movies you see in the theatres. Of course not the Hanna Montana’s or National Lampoons, this is more on the dare-I say-it “Indie” circuit. (GASP!!). I like to think I get it from my actor side of my brain…which I call the Dramatic lobe (it has many uses than the one stated here). I came across this wonderful piece of production called “ The Perverts Guide To Cinema” I must say I was thrilled at the fact of this piece of medium rare sirloin stake. Mmmmmmo. I suppose it lets me know I’m not the only one who loooooooovvvvvesssssss what goes into a making of a movie.

Take a look:

PS: listening to Wrecked Metal- Zeigeist naaaaiiicceee!!!!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Hey hey hey

Can you believe I haven’t done a single post in ages, I would say I have been busy but alas no, my life she be boring. Well not that I did recently celebrate my birthday last week and it was great a whole weekend of debauched goodness like a tub of Hag n Das, of course being lactose intolerant you all know what eventually happens afterwards……..yeah.
Fun was had by all who came to my little shindig on Thursday. Even tho my Birthday was the next day, I figured: How else to handle the impending realisation that as I’m getting older, the only rings I have, are the ones under my eyes, than by being as intoxicated with peeps as I can possibly get, and yeah, you should’ve seen all the rings I got.

Birthday Card

Inside Birthday Card...what lovely friends have I!!!!
Starting a job on Friday, wait wait wait, before you get all hoohah!! Its not in the field I’ve been looking for 5 MONTHS for, its in selling which I am more than happy to do than go back into waitering. Its something to do while I wait for my passport to come through and its in a gym! So I can finally do something about the thing that science calls my body.

Well off I go SpongeBob is starting……

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Delayed Easter Update: Kavorting in KaKnysna KaNice

Hey ya, hoop ya’ll had a great Easter weekend, I know I did. I had the extreme opportunity to go on a roadtrip all the way to Knysna. Much fun was had, the places we went to, the people who skeefed us out, fun fun fun!! Even met up with a Amy and Delon and debauched the bar known as Zanzibar

But alas some things aren’t meant to last and we were on our way home. Now as you all probably heard of the Truck strikes on the N1, so we took the back way out, what we didn’t plan on was stumbling upon the set of The Hills Have Eyes. Some how we had found ourselves on a gravel road meandering through mountains and cattle gates. Passing comments like: Is that the decrepit building to which they store the bodies? Laughing at the fact that it would be ten times more scarier at night…flash forward 2 hours later and we were still, passing comments like: Is that the decrepit building to which they store the bodies? Not laughing at the fact that it IS ten times more scarier at night with the added plot points such as dead cell batteries and no reception.

I swear guys, Nats and me were literally going through the motions of insanity, I mean we could’ve turned a corner and stumble upon a Patricia Lewis Album Launch! Yes (Parents tuck the kids in bed) it’s that horrifying. At one point there was a bush in the middle of the road, which could’ve been a a cannibal redneck couching over a dead body, would have the reaction of: What the fuck is that????!!! WHAT THE F&*%!!????!?!? WHAT THE F@£$….A BUSH!!!!?!! WHAT THE F$%@??!!!!!! OH GOD A BUSH!!!!!

So it took three hours with a lot of Kylie Minogue and I Spy with my little eye but we made it, and lived to sell the movie rights.

Monday, April 6, 2009

What a country, what an island

There was a lot of stuff happening this weekend in the good ol’ Cape, The North Sea Jazz Festival – Moss Def !!!! and the flooding of celebrities to the opening of the new posh hotel The One and Only. “Wonderfully" located in the bowl of the Waterfront with “breathtaking” views of the Aquarium, um….yeah fuck the Burj Al Arab, I want spectacular views of those iconic billboards about those frog exhibitions, maybe they could do a joint billboard that goes..

“ you must be hopping mad to stay there…….and not come to the frog exhibition”

Of course I never went to any of those…urg, but I think the next thing is the Coke Fest, druggies don’t get your lollies in a pop, it’s the yearly fest of musicians that head over from the outside universe to visit our humble shores, in hopes of enlightening us to good real music, giving us a break from those Idols that should go Pop! Oasis, Snow Patrol, Panic at the disco…nice!!!! Just for interest sake here is my dreamlist for a coke fest:

Kings of Leon
Bloc Party
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
with dj groups Cut Copy and Digitalism for pomping beats

now that would be worthy of awesomeness

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

To Whom It May Concern

Dear life

Hi there my very good friend I have great news to share with you,, there is a chance that I will be moving out of UnemploymentVille. They say all good things come to an end…I still need to know whenever the land of UnemploymentVille had any thing good to offer except two stone throws away from Denialsville. Enough about that now, just be happy that I will be moving close to you!! Yes! now we can hang out and do all the stuff that I….I mean we….always wanted to do.

Will keep you posted.

Yours sincerely

Friday, March 27, 2009

A Pic From the Bloody Beetroots @ Assembly

I'm in here somewhere can you spot me?

Hope in these Days of our Lives

Hey people, so my hunt continues for that elusive job out there somewhere, there’s actually a few balls in the air, but they are taking their sweet time to let gravity take over. I have even approached a restaurant for a waitering position, and even they are saying they’ll let me know…WTF??? As much as I would love the prospect of giving people the satisfying option of chips or baked potato, I’m really counting on any of those other jobs to drop.

I suppose what I’m saying about Hope, is that she and Bo are going through a rough time on Days of our lives as his newly discovered daughter was kind of responsible for the death of Hopes son and now she wants a divorce from Bo, but he wont allow it as he is in love with her still.

You go Bo! Never stop, you want something so bad, you carry on….we rooting for you…..


Monday, March 23, 2009

Tip Toe Through Gordon’s Bay

What a lovely lovely Sunday did my buds, and I have, stopping for some chow and refresh (booze) ments at this place called 99 on Beach, going WHA WHA WHA.… Only to discover that we were in actual fact in Strand and not Gordon’s Bay, but thanx to the wonderful Bia we found ourselves in a picturesque wharf overlooking the coast and watching the sun set, oh magical

Definitely going there for a weekend. Who’s in?

This post was brought to you by the South African Tourism - “its possible” (yes this is a link)

Friday, March 20, 2009

Someone left a Tiger Tiger on my carpet

Hunters log: Thursday 19th March: 18:36
The expedition party recently took a venture into the semi-unknown region that is Klar Moont, there we will find the local watering whole, where the indigenous and sometimes exotic animals frequent…it is dubbed “Tiger Tiger” by the natives. I’m not going to lie to you, having narrowly escaped the previous visit, the party is nervous, but to help fellow Biologist Gabby, capture the rare Pualiosis Mandeous, will over shadow our fears and doubts.

Hunters log: Thursday 19th March: 21:30
Upon arrival we immediately blended into the surroundings by dressing in the custom clothing of the area, we began to observe the patterns of these strange creatures, the males seem to have this defence mechanism of imitating each other both physically and vocally, Analyst Amy Lee Nelson came across this strange movement that one of them did with their hands, to explain would be pointless as I’m sure there is none to the gesture, except the responding male repeats movement, so I would ascertain it is a greeting of some sort .

Hunters log: Thursday 19th March: 22:30
As the expedition nears its end, it is clear that subject Pualiosis Mandeous is nowhere to be found. We are running out of firewater and we do not know how long Motion Expert Matthew Erikson’s sporadic confusion gestures will keep the beasts at bay.

Hunters log: Thursday 19th March: 32:01
We are on the move with Driver Delon’s …um…skills in motor vehicles; we are safe and sound on the way home. With collective observations and extensive research we have managed to come to the conclusion that Tiger Tiger is a shithole.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Everday Is A Winding Road

What’s up with the headline Matthew? You ask…or not, but I will explain it anyway.

These past months have been really taxing on this person (just think Benjamin Button long and Shindlers list emotionally exhaustive). I’m sitting here just having sent out a wad load of emails with CV attachments and wondering: hopefully tomorrow will be the day, then hopefully an Oscar will be on hand for the amount of emotion put into it.

Okay, so maybe just maybe I might be a tad bit dramatic, I have a theatrical past so sue me…but I suppose this is what really challenges a persons character and makes one learn that you have to be ready for anything. Yeah I’m defiantly storing this in the do-not-forget-or-you’ll-wind-up-depro again- section of my brain. Hold thumbs for me folks

I’ll leave you with these words from a lovely lady named Sheryl:

"Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine"

Monday, March 9, 2009

"Its Getting Hot In Here" on repeat

Matthew : Hello Monday how are you doing today?

Monday: Yo WAZZUP Matchew!!! I iz so Hot in da hizza

Matthew: I know, could you do something about it?

Monday: Don’t be haten da playyyaa homie I iz not helping
Dat I be da hottest thang faw all da foxy beeatch’s out dere.

Matthew: um yeah.......well that’s cool and all but I’m sweating like
a pig on the fourth day of july here…so just lower the thermastat…stat.

Monday: AAAAiiiiiit MatChEW you’s def be hatin, I be tinking I pound
yo ass all way up to ya grills and wip dat aSSS

Matthew: BANG!

Monday: THUD!

Happy Birthday Bridget!!!!!!

Friday, March 6, 2009

Time To Get BLOODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited about tonight, but not in the over excited way that leaves you feeling unfulfilled afterwards, just enough excited to SCREEEEEAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

For those guys and gals who did get tickets I will see you on the dancefloor sweating my entire body mass out, if not then you losers miss out.

here is a little taste of what you can expect:

The Bloody Beetroots - Detroit( Ghetto edit)

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

An Arg Moment

As you may or may not know, I’m in the process of job hunting, a good way of explaining it, although I would like to do a bit of job killing at the mo. The reason being:
Going through all the interviews, “eagerly awaits” signed at the end of emails, the: “we think you will be bored here”s etc etc, it ultimately pot-of-acid-boils down to the lack of experience that gets you. Now I’m all for lapping up the luxury of ode de expeiriaance, if I could get into a place that would except me,

It just gets so frustrating to think, that you need it, in order to get it, but cant get it, because you need it first, in order to get it…to need it …to get it AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just have one query: if all the experienced people, say I don’t know, die in an “unexpected” incident whatever will all the agencies do?? Well I can’t foretell what they would do, I’m sure someone with experience would be able to do that.

But I’m holding out and not budging I’m sure a company will be eager to hire me…. one day…as the last step before the wrist slitting, rope tying, gun towards the head last step………one day.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

A Slayers Choice

An interesting thought occurred to me this weekend whilst avoiding the heat of the sun with a relax full day of Buffy marathon goodness,

WARNING: the following contains emo content. You have been warned.

When I came across the scene in the final episode of season 5 where Buffy sacrifice’s herself to save the world, but before she does she pulls her sister over and gives her a really tearful speech and then run and jumps into deaths abyss
Now you know with the music and the acting, a person with at least an inkling of a heart would choke up just a bit, what really struck me out of the whole thing was the line she says to her sister:

"Dawn, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."

In these ever so lovely times we are living in: recession, relationships blah blah blah, it’s very easy to be sucked into the darkness of depression or the mask of denial (we all know how it goes). I’ve been going through a bit (okay) a lot of both recently and sometimes it got a bit too much, I think to myself, if life is hard then what’s the point? Should we just battle each day throughout our whole lives until we get so tired we fall over and die?

I like to think what Buffy means: is that you know what? Life is shit, life is not easy but just to breath is a gift enough, and once you appreciate it than you have something to fight for, coz the demons in our world aren’t the monsters under our beds but the ones that dwell in our minds, and I can tell you those are the scariest of all, but the most fruitless ones to fear.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Reset the recession.

So went to a friend’s house last night, we will call her B even tho she hates being called by that, all the more reason to, to drown our sorrows and bitch and moan about our lives. Shit this recession thing is so depressing, anyone who isn’t retrenched is stuck in a job that pay’s you about the same amount as an ants orgasm and with extra work coz the other people are retrenched.
*side note: I’m in the retrenched pile on the desk.

So I’m on a prowl for a new job eek, and not going so good, you see I’m what you call “in a rut” for the love of John Cleese , I have no idea how to get myself out of it, I’m one step closer to buying a self help book, which would most probably be used as a dust collector. You know I’m writing this and even I’m getting bored,

next story: Well I can tell you what’s been getting me through everything, is the divine power of MUSIC! I have no idea where I would be without good solid crafted music, oh yes I would be dead.

So there is this amazing Dj called B-Xentic! He has the same taste in moosic as I do and he did this awesome mix for Palms Out Sounds, so do yourselves a favour and check it the fuck out

Its called Disco Mix

Okay off now later.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

One - Two - Your - Sub - conscious is coming for you

So during last nights microwave induced sleep, I had a combo dream special, (trust me, it had the same makings as a big Mac with supersized fries and value sugar infused coke)

1: The first one up was me getting a call to go back to my old job…um..yeah…okay…whatever, but during that ever so warm secured feeling of sitting at my desk clicking and clacking away, was the looming question of: why am I here? Which is exactly what my boss returned when I asked her the same question. So during this dream sequence I was like a patient in a psych ward wondering around the building determining the fate of my career and wondering what the hell is going on with the waterfall in the bathroom…..not cool.

2: The second act of my incredibly relaxing sleep happened when I by “accidently” bumping into that ex which I had taken about a lot of months getting over, so there we were back in the swing of things when all of a sudden -poof -he’s gone, now of course I’m wondering how different is this from reality, well you tell it to the pink elephant that was standing in the room (seriously this dream was full of all the clichés with a drip of Suess and touch of Finch). It was at this time I woke up.

Seriously now WHAT THE FUCK does that all mean, did I get a visit from Mr Kruegar who wanted to mend his evil ways by taking me on a journey through my sub- conscious, to make me realize shit? If that’s the case, then FML coz all it did was make me feel even more tired than I have been and way more shite.
I thought dreams were suppose to be escapes from the world, so do me a favour Freddy and keep on skewering people through their crotches, with a kitchen spoon and leave the life defining lessons to daytime TV.

This blog was sponsored by taking 5 Rescue Remedy’s instead of 2.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

*Tee Hee moment

a MOOving poem

I came across this funny strip the other day and it reminded me of a poem I did back in the old gays of primary school, if its bad, don't you be judging me:

How now you absent minded cow?
you graze you chew
may the Lord bless you.

You give us milk and food
you even jumped over the moon,
even though we eat you
we still have you in our hearts...literally.

You give us strength and energy
if not we'd be unhealthy.

so thanks a lot you cattle
for not putting up a battle

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


A Britney Moment

You know denial can be a wonderful some cases, in others it can fuck you up.

story time!!!

Once upon a time far far near there was a town called Denialsville occupation 63564 and growing. Everybody was happy and merry, going about their own ways, no nothing could ever make the residents of Denialsville down or out. But little did they know of the dormant volcano that was growing right in the centre, just underneath the town hall, lets name it Real Life.

Everyday the residents would gather in the Town Hall and have a huge feast complete brain numbing booze and debaucherous dancing, with more people arriving the party grew to an enormous size, this angered Real Life, as with each new person was more pressure added on top of him.

Soon enough Real Life could not handle it any longer and in a one gigantic motion ripped through the ground, spewing red hot larva's of truth, as it fell on the people of Denialsville their skin burned and boiled at its touched. Soon the whole town was in flames and people running around and falling to the ground screaming in agony. The carnage went on throughout the whole night, until the first glimpse of morning broke.

To this day people rarely go to the town of Denialsville for if they do,
Real Life will be there, waiting......

Moral of the story: Breakdowns are not fun (click on link)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Bleed for Beetroots

If there are any of you with any taste in good electronic mooozic, you will get your mofo asses down to the ASSembly on the 6th March, for these guys, they are mixing in the same circles as MSTRKRFT, Digitalism, Shinichi Osawa etc etc...So yeah, they are like AAAAAAAHHHHHHH.

The Bloody Beetroots have done remix's of some really top top people, both commercial (Timberland, All American Rejects) and not so (Goose, Fox n Wolf).
As always head over to Myspace or Facebook and check out their colourful history.
Books tickets at The Assembly in Cape Town and for the peeps in Jozi, dont fret, they are going there too, I think....

anyhooo so looking forward to some good shit, finally!!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Hey Champ Is the Champ

Is'nt it nice when you come across a song that you just fall in love with and then you fall in love
with the band.This is one such occasion Hey Champs- Cold Dust Girl is amazing in it's neck grooving beats with cool vocals that could make even the coldist chick get on her pumps to dance (okay that was lame).

Anyway check out the rest of the shizzle these guys come out with at their blog, trust me they played with Justice they must be good.


I recently came across this interesting testimonial on F*&$ My Life:

"Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him having sex with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML"

It interest's me, as I seem to be having a problem with always having flings with straight guys.
Now I'm all for experimentation an all, but really...
I went "out" with this guy who had a girlfriend before me, it was going great but could'nt shake this feeling. A couple of months later I confronted him and he answered: ending with...wife and kids. Needless to say I dropped that ass but still got depro, we havent had contact after that, I recently heard from his friends that he is back with that girl...I was like...whatever, when you're 40 with kids and getting "funny feelings" when watching the so-called-hunks on 7laan.
don't call me.

anyhew the point is, things still have a long way to go, until we can fully explore who we are without judgement...I just wish it cames sooner..coz i need ass.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Another day, where can i get a dollar?

So still reeling from the retrenchments gone by, here I found myself (Pro bono) freelancing and still eagerley awaiting a reply from the job i recently went for. Of course being the emotional person I am, I tend to dramatize EVERYTHING!!!,
why aren't they calling,
where is my life headed?
why am I ALONE!!!!!!????

That is until I came across this nifty little website that really connects me with my fellow human beings and makes me feel just that much happier, hopefully it will make you happier too.

enjoy your Monday peeps

Sunday, February 8, 2009

The Title Sequence

So this is it...huh?

My first blog, yet somehow that doesn't make me want to bake a cake or saute something using Stork Culiness, if any of you know about that particularity boring Stork Ad, about the mother expressing herself with blogging and the odd occasional emotional connection that occurs, when she cooks with the suspiciously bright yellow liquid. Maybe i should give it more time and who know, i could just be the next Nigella, all thanks to power of blogs, hmmmmm,

Anyhew for my first order of business I would love to share with you all this delightful video, created by Waambat (not her real name) which a friend sent to me. It has Muppets and Peaches...what else could you ask for.

enjoy it.
Later hatas